Jake McCaulley
A proposal to deal with conciussions
Today in the great country of America we are faced with a lingering problem of concussions that occur to players in the NFL and also to many children that participate in these sports. So the question arises, what should we do to prevent all these concussions or to eliminate them in total. And I have an idea that is perfect. Concussion are horrible and everybody hates them so what can we do to make them go away. There are always these specials on TV such as 30 for 30 on how multiple concussions and multiple head traumas can cause harm over long periods of time or even possibly kill the person that has had these problems.
So it comes down to this, we must ban every sport that people have received concussions from. That means banning football first and foremost. I mean nobody really likes it anyways it’s just a bunch of men running into each other with testosterone flying everywhere. There are no intellectual abilities being used in this sport and all it does is harm the participants especially by giving them long term problems from concussions. We must also ban other sports such as baseball, basketball, and hockey. This will allow these children to focus more on their grades and the Arts, the things that really matter. This will make our children smarter and instead of using their competitiveness on the field, they’ll use it in the classroom and our nation and world will exponentially grow in technology and human intelligence. We must ban more than just these four sport though. If somebody slips and falls while bowling and hits there head, then we must ban it! If somebody slips when getting out of the pool after a water polo game and hits their head then we must ban water polo as well. I even think it might be great to require everybody to wear bubble wrap suits to help protect our citizens, but that’s another argument. We must first ban all sports with the possibility of receiving concussions from.
Don’t tell me that we can prevent concussions by getting better equipment to protect our heads, that is a nonsensical idea. No matter how much padding is on your helmet there is still a chance of a concussion occurring and we cannot have that happen. And don’t tell me that we could even go as far to make it illegal for helmet to helmet hits and hits that harm our heads because that as well is a dumb idea. The only way to prevent concussions is to ban these sport completely. The idea of possibly introducing headgear into sports that don’t have it such as soccer might be the most ridiculous thing that I’ve ever heard in my lifetime. So you must agree with me that all sports that concussion occur in must be banished off the face of the earth because they are no good and do nothing but horrible things to the children that play in them such as giving them concussions.