A modest proposal for your health (and weight)

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In recent years many people have begun to become concerned with those who are obese, whether they themselves are or are not. And why shouldn’t they be? These are the people that, with reckless abandon, make themselves overweight so they can gain many advantages, like cutting line because they can’t stand on their stubby legs, and constantly be wheeled around, while the rest are left to their own two feet. And because of all the health problems that come with being obese and Obamacare normal weighted people are forced to pay health care to take care of them. Obviously these people are a problem and with statistics saying that the percentage of obese people is on the rise and soon at least half of all Americans will be dangerously overweight or obese something must be done. And I have a modest proposal to end this travesty.

The Government is already trying to decrease calorie intake and though these slight taxes are a noble effort I say that it is not enough. There are already states rebelling against this Government issued tax and this is why if the Government insists on meddling in our affairs then they should reinforce something that is obviously devastating this country. If they truly want to get rid of the problem then simply outlaw all these soft drinks, fast food restaurants, and the infamous, processed TV dinners. Better yet, outlaw the distribution of salt and sugar. Take the deadly chemicals out of supermarkets and homes. Destroy the temptation before it takes the lives of innocent people who don’t know any better and stop the vile criminals who choose to abuse these materials. Just like the laws banning medical marijuana, and the amazing scare tactics implemented upon cigarette companies, a law that bans salt and sugar will help tremendously and not lead people to understandable anger. This should be the next 18^th Amendment, successfully banning the sinful act of eating unhealthily because once it’s illegal it’s automatically wrong. It shall be the second Noble Experiment.

Everything that is healthy tastes like cardboard and we only use those things to make food taste better. Being healthy is far superior to having singing taste buds. Salt and sugar are used for nothing that isn’t unhealthy. You can’t tell me we actually need salt and sugar in order to survive and even if we did, we simply abuse them like drugs. So many people are eating fast food/processed food, so just take it away. Don’t make the healthy stuff more affordable or make the restaurants put calorie/ carb intakes on the menus. Don’t make exercise more rewarding and less of a hassle. None of these such things are worth the time when we can simply have congress, who is so willing to pass these taxes, pass an act that outlaws these dangerous materials.