Ghosting a relationship
Ending the pain without so much as a word
November 1, 2016
hello?
are you there?
text me back
If you have sent these messages and never got a reply, well you can consider yourself ghosted!
“Ghosting a relationship” is when someone you’re dating or simply friends with ends a relationship by cutting off all means of communication without any explanation at all. No more texts. No emails. No social media contact. Done … cold turkey.
It sounds pretty harsh, but junior Tabbie Thomas can see when ghosting would be necessary.
“Depending on the type of situation, is someone was trying to get you to do something that you are not comfortable with or something that makes you feel not safe, then yes it is okay to ghost someone,” she said.
Ghosting someone can happen because the person that is doing the ghosting has an avoidant personality and perhaps would rather begin something new without having to confront any negative emotional and physical attributes that come with a terminating relationship.
Sometimes the ghosting process can be a kind of self-defense mechanism.
“I have been hurt so many times in the past that at this point I’m honestly afraid of letting people get close to me,” said Skylar Grossen. “When I start to get attached to someone I just leave because I’m afraid to get hurt again. Ghosting is the best way to not let myself get hurt anymore.”
On the outside it would appear that the person doing the ghosting would much rather consider their own emotional and physical discomfort above integrity, emotional intelligence, and compassion for the other half of the relationship.
However, sometimes when a person tries to end a relationship the other just won’t listen.
“I think its ok because I’ve told someone we need to break up and they haven’t listened,” said senior Tom Whiteford. “It was so much easier to just stop talking to them and end the relationship that way, then actually trying to talk your way out of it. So I strongly feel like this is a good way to end things.”
Leading up to ghosting, the ghoster will mentally go through stages they may not actually realize they are going through. These stages are important to their decision making process because they are mentally justifying the reasons they have for ghosting.
But there are some people who don’t get the act of ghosting and cannot justify it at all.
“I have never ghosted someone and I never will because I think it’s hurtful and just blatantly wrong. If I wanted to leave a relationship I think the least I can do is tell the other person why I am leaving. If they can’t accept that then they can’t but at least I tried,” said Altoona Senior Austin Savino.