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Madi Steinbauer is a 2013 Bellwood-Antis graduate who is currently attending Penn State University. You can visit her blog here.

“Let it go, just let it be. Why don’t you be you and I’ll be me. Everything that’s broke, leave it to the breeze. Let the ashes fall, forget about me.”

I don’t think I could explain how much this lyric hits me on every emotional level.

Sometimes you just have to let things go. Whether it be a grudge, a friend, a bad memory, someone your heart loves with the deepest passion. Things can get sobroken, like 10,000 shards of glass, and they can’t be fixed again. So you have to let those pieces fall. You have to let all that feeling go and let the breeze take it far away.

Trust me, you will feel relief. You will feel the weight off of your shoulders. You will feel better.

It’s hard. You have a million “what ifs” in your head. But, you have a million tears streaming down your face.

How fair is that?

That you are hurting?

I’ve been there. I have trouble letting go of things and even more trouble letting go of people.

But its a choice that you have to make for yourself. Because if that grudge is keeping you from looking at someone the same, if that friend makes you question how truthful they are, if that bad memory keeps you awake at night, if that love makes you sad rather than happy…you have to let it go.

YOU CAN’T HURT YOURSELF ANYMORE. Because you only have one life to live. No one deserves to hurt so badly that the pain becomes physical.

No one deserves to hurt so badly that they don’t even recognize themselves.

Isn’t it funny how reflections change based off of a pain they experience?

I have held grudges. I have held onto people. I have let my heart be crushed in order to keep people in my life.

I have done this because I have trouble letting go.

I have ruined myself because of this on many occasions.

But sometimes, it’s better to just walk away. Or to take those feelings and let the wind take them where they dare to lay. As long as they are no longer laying by your head at night as you’re trying so hard to rest. As long as those feelings are no longer caught in your throat, so terrified to come out that you can’t eat for weeks.

Things can become really toxic, really quickly.

But, in order to be who you are, to be healthy, to be focused, to be able to forgive, to love again, to forget. You have to learn how to let go.

And you know when you have to let go of something. Because you can feel it. You can feel it in your chest as if your hearts punching itself. You can feel it in your stomach as its rumbling with anxiety.

One day you will wake up and realize that you have to do what’s best for you. Things will then start to get better, things will then change.

I’ve told people I can’t be in their life anymore. I’ve let go of grudges of being cheated on by boyfriends and lied to by friends. I’ve let go of the bad memories of being bullied.

And as much as I thought it would hurt to be doing it, I didn’t cry. I didn’t feel anxious. I didn’t hurt anymore.

In fact, I have never felt such relief before.

My heart felt like it was beating at a normal pace, my stomach seemed to settle. My eyes dried from the tears I’ve shed. And I could eat because the words in my throat weren’t stuck there anymore.

Because I’ve said to myself, “I need to let this go.”

I grew stronger.

I let it go.

The grudge.

The friend.

The memory.

The love.

I have one life to life. I don’t deserve to feel pain.

I deserve to have enough strength to let broken things, stay broken.

I deserve to have enough confidence that its the right thing to carefully pick up those broken pieces.

I deserve to love myself enough to let go of those broken pieces.

And leave it to the breeze to take it

far,

far

away from me.