Super Bowl LVI location moved to Bellwood-Antis football field


Public domain image/BluePrint archive photo

The Super Bowl has been moved to Memorial Stadium in a move that could boost the local economy.

Two weeks ago, the Cincinnati Bengals and Los Angeles Rams prevailed in their respective championship games, setting up a highly anticipated Super Bowl for the ages. However, the big game was originally planned to be held at the Rams’ SoFi Stadium, which creates a conflict of interest.

The solution provided and approved by the NFL is one that comes as a major shock to the football world. Super Bowl LVI (56) will be held at Memorial Stadium at our own Bellwood-Antis High School. On Sunday, the usually quiet town of Bellwood will be turned into pandemonium when the world’s biggest football game is held at our own facility.

The decision to move the game has come with a lot of criticism towards NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. When asked about the questionable decision, Goodell stated, “It came down to Bellwood or Miami, but we ended up choosing Bellwood due to the amazing amount of parking provided with the ‘unnumbered spots’.” Principal Schreier is very excited to host the event, but assures that policies will remain the same forever.

“Nobody can park in the numbered spots, the players phones and earbuds will also be confiscated,” Mr. Schreier exclaimed to ESPN’s Adam Schefter. “If they don’t comply they will receive detention.”

After hearing these comments, Rams All-Pro defensive tackle Aaron Donald was seen visibly shaken and scared of Mr. Schreier for the rest of the press conference, and was adamant that nobody breaks any of the rules.

Bellwood students were very excited to hear the big news, but not all for the same reasons. Senior Reghan Hostler stated that “all I know is that Joe Burrow is hot, but I forget what team he plays for.”

One agreement that the NFL made with Bellwood-Antis is that the winner of the Super Bowl must play against the B-A football team to determine the true world champion. The loser will take on the Junior Varsity football team.

B-A coach Nick Lovrich stated, “We can beat them if we play absolutely perfect football. I also believe we are way more athletic, strong, and fast because we do VOLT. Playing the Bengals or the Rams would be a huge step down from ICC competition, but we can take it easy on them if necessary.”

Sophomore Josh Dorminy didn’t like hearing that the football team will be picking up an extra game. “I don’t feel like practicing for a whole week, I just wanna relax and watch YouTube,” he said.

Another issue that is becoming criticized is the lack of adequate concession stands. So the hungry and rowdy fans will have to walk a few short blocks to Irvin’s on Main to purchase refreshments, which could prove to be a huge burden to fans and workers alike.

However, Sunday night should turn out to be a night to remember. The Super Bowl starts at 6:30 eastern time. The town of Bellwood is ready. Are you?